The Miracle Club
By Lee Woodruff, author of In An Instant
There is a huge part of me that is really, truly, uneasy with writing about the
subject of miracles. It’s not that I’m uncomfortable discussing religion,
prayers, or the subject of God. But for a child raised in a quietly Presbyterian
household, miracles were the stuff of the Easter sermon or old time religious
revival tents with a laying on of hands.
In my limited childhood experience, the people who threw that term around
liberally were the 1-900 Sunday morning cable ministers, many of whom were later
snared in the skeins of their own sins.
Sort of like the words “awesome” or “unique,” the word miracle is now officially
overused. We seem to slip it into everyday sentences and conversation. “It was a
miracle I found you in that crowd,” or “It’s a miracle they have a size six left
on the sales rack.”
As cheap a verbal currency as the “M” word has become, I know from experience
that there are real miracles at work in life. In talking with others whose lives
have been changed by something miraculous, I have come to realize that there
exists a kind of “Miracle Club,” swollen with members.
Our family’s induction happened on March 6, 2006. My husband Bob had been in a
coma for 36 days after being hit by an IED, a bomb buried in the side of an
Iraqi road as he covered a story for ABC- News.
With each passing week of little or no progress, my spirits were beginning to
flag, although I remained optimistic on the outside for my four children. After
one month, I had begun preparing myself to think about nursing facilities for
Bob. He was not waking up, not responding to commands as the doctors had hoped.
He would move in an agitated fashion, stare with blank eyes, but there was no
“Bob” there, no bright light behind his eyes.
I went to bed on March 5th at the lowest point in my life. I had been living
apart from my children for five weeks, and I had to face the fact that my loving
husband and life partner more closely resembled a helpless child than a man.
I said a silent prayer that night to God with a plea to Bob. “There is nothing
more I can do, honey,” I whispered in the hotel room. “You have to do this
yourself now, you have to wake up. “It’s in your hands and Gods.”
Early the next morning, as I walked into Bob’s hospital room, preparing for
another day of disappointment, there was my husband, sitting up in bed, his eyes
as bright as two candles asking me where I had been. When I think about the
definition of a miracle, I will always remember that moment in freeze frame. I
see the rapture on Bob’s face and I imagine the stunned disbelief, gratitude,
and then joy on my own. It must have been the picture of answered prayers.
Now that I’m officially a member of the Miracle Club, I am more keenly attuned
to the stories of others; stories I might have written off before. A friend’s
daughter had contracted Lymes disease and the symptoms had gone undiagnosed. She
spent years with a horrible auto-immune reaction, finally succumbing to a wheel
chair, unable to move, partially paralyzed and almost out of hope. Her body was
racked with multiple seizures each day. Even the process of chewing food would
set her into convulsions.
The family had taken their daughter to specialists around the country, to
shamans, therapists and exorcists. They had tried massage and they’d had legions
of friends praying for her recovery. One day, someone at their church suggested
a prayer circle, a powerful vortex of prayers directed at their daughter like a
laser beam. They had nothing to lose.
Improvements didn’t come overnight. There was no sending the wheel chair
skidding across the living room floor with one swift kick as we see in movies.
Changes began incrementally. That first night she was in less pain. She
described feeling “lighter,” simply better after the prayer circle. By the end
of the week she was able to get out of the chair and begin moving her limbs. The
seizures stopped and she slept for a six hours a stretch. Today she is a normal
18-year-old child, headed off to college and playing beautiful pieces on the
piano.
Surely scientists and physicians will have some explanation for Bob’s sudden
wake-up or for Amy’s dramatic improvement. There are reasons, I suppose, why my
grandfather “Doc” was diagnosed with MS and then through the power of prayer, as
my grandmother told us, was cured.
Perhaps those explanations exist, but I think honestly that miracles are things
that defy explanation. “There is no physical reason why Bob should have woken up
like that, why he should have so much of himself back, “ Dr. Peter Costantino,
one of Bob’s neurosurgeons told me.
Just the sheer possibility of one of these “moments of grace” sustains us. That
kind of hope is a powerful human emotion. Imagine if we lived in a perfect world
where there was no need for answered prayers, for the blessed good ness of
forgiveness washing over us, or the satisfying feeling of working to earn
something desired.
For many living with daily pain and illness, the thought that a miracle might in
fact happen keeps them moving forward. Bob and I met Nancy Levin and her son
Miles in the Detroit airport by chance. At age 18, Mile’s cancer had come back,
and in the face of overwhelmingly negative odds, both Miles and Nancy chose to
cling to the hope that they could beat this again. Miles lost that battle this
past August, but in the process he blogged and wrote and spoke publicly about
childhood cancer to legions of all listeners. He educated those who knew him
about the power of life, grace, the generosity of spirit, compassion and
endurance. He made all of us who met him better people individually and
collectively than we might otherwise have been.
My friend Gretchen, like legions of mothers before her, has spent the better
part of a year at New York’s Sloan Kettering Hospital with her four-year-old son
Liam, fighting a childhood cancer that is tenacious and cruel. With each timid
passing of a milestone, she is marking his cautious progress in little miracles.
And if you have ever watched a child suffer, you understand that these mile
markers, these incremental achievements, qualify as miracles.
Watching my children process their father’s life-changing injury, meeting Nancy
and Miles, and supporting Gretchen’s journey with Liam, all make me believe that
God is not in the details. If he were, he wouldn’t be so arbitrary when
assigning imperfections. He would have struck down Idi Amin with a fatal heart
attack or given Charles Manson testicular cancer. No children would ever die
from illness, accident or starvation. Those we love wouldn’t be in pain. Bad
things wouldn’t happen to good people.
The longer I live and the more I see of life, warts and all, the less I believe
that most of us are truly are visited with the big miracles, the giant waking-up
from the-coma moments, the leg braces hurled across the room.
But we all need to trust in the possibility. I think of it kind of like the
lottery ticket system — millions buy a ticket but only one person is the winner.
Yet, each of us holding a set of numbers believes we could hit the jackpot.
But even if we don’t hold the winning number, we need to be open to feeling the
power of a life made up of many little white light moments. These moments of
grace as I think of them, are as real and as powerful as the headliners.
In my life, what that big miracle did more than anything was to open the
aperture inside of me to witness the presence of little, everyday blessings. I
see them in the gift of a healthy newborn baby, a clean mammogram scan or a
heartfelt conversation with an elderly parent. People talk a lot about living in
the moment, but to do that, to really focus on it, is to be able to fully
participate in all the tiny little miracles that make up our lives. I give it
all my focus when I tiptoe into my children’s bedrooms in the morning and stroke
their hair as I wake them for school. I count my blessings for having
girlfriends and sisters with whom I can unburden and share myself like a second
skin. It is one of life’s small gifts to be able to ease someone’s pain, to hold
their fears for just a day. It is truly miraculous to sit and watch the sunrise
and set, or study the perfection of a colorful blossom.
A few months ago, I was alone in the Bahamas after a day of work indoors. In
late afternoon I pulled a chair right up to the edge of the water as the sun was
setting. I willed myself to be still and tried to mainline pure joy with all of
my five senses. I heard the lapping of the waves, smelled the salt air and felt
the sun on my skin. I stayed in that glorious moment for as long as I could and
it felt wonderful. Somewhere that night there was work to do in my hotel room
and back home I was pretty sure that there were dishes in the sink. The house
would be thinly veiled chaos when I returned. But life in that moment, warts and
all, was pretty spectacular.
Author
Lee Woodruff is a public relations executive and freelance writer.
For more information, please visit
www.bobwoodrufffamilyfund.org
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